it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
