just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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