Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize