I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
