Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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