Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
