Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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