I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im holly from the hills drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
