Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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