My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
