two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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