Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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