Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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