ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
