dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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