Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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