I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
