Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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