Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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