sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
