Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
