That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
