well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
