yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
