i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
