we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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