so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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