spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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