are you still at the devil's house?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
