A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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