Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
