I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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