Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize