So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize