I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize