i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
