I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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