I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
