I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
