Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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