i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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