I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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