I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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