the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
vagina is talking i cant
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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