my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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