can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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