I wannas sexs uuuuu
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
