That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
