i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
