She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
