I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
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So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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