I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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