I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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