Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's the barista slut.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
