it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
