Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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