so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
me + whiskey = a bad person
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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