Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize