to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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